By Kristen Yost
Belonging is…
buying the same clothes and
products as my
favorite influencer, because
if I have what she has,
I will have the best clothes,
the clearest skin, and
perfect hair.
It’s all in the name of a
better and perfect life, which
I could never afford without
her discount code for 30% off.
slowly loosening my morals to be like
my friends, until
I am accepted –
becoming less cautious of the
words I say, and talk more
aggressive to match their tone
telling them
I’m still here –
until they craft me into their clone,
but ignore me when
a new prospect enters,
like an only child after
a sibling is born.
being told that I am
too much, or too loud
when I get excited or passionate about
exciting endeavors, or
irritating injustices;
so I apologize for my passion,
and say,
“Sorry, that was too loud.
I’m working on it.”
I teach myself to
be more mellow
for them.
being in a serious relationship like
young Christian girls
should do, but
the guy always
leaves me behind.
I wonder,
what’s wrong with me,
as my friends marry
and I become
more alone.
Why is belonging
found only in material possessions?
What if belonging is
buying clothes and products
I like, being proud of
who I am, and
encouraging others to
embrace the
power of their
individuality?
What if belonging is
letting my friends challenge
my beliefs, but not
allowing them to make me
feel any less of a person
when I choose to have a
verbal filter, or not to question
my spiritual beliefs?
What if they accept me
despite
our differences?
What if belonging is
embracing
my vivacious personality,
especially when it’s
too much,
choosing to
grow into it,
the same way a girl
grows into
her body?
What if belonging is
choosing
Eternal Love
over earthly love, and
Internal Love
for myself and others
the same way He loves me?
Belonging requires
acceptance,
and love
from myself,
not others.
Kristen Yost finished her senior year as a Human Communication major with a Writing minor. She enjoys warm weather and sunshine, everything the Midwest is NOT in the winter. In her free time, she enjoys binge watching new Netflix shows and attending Monday night Bachelor watch parties with her friends.